Ashes for Beauty

In talking to people, even very sincere Christians, I have found that we all have a hard time with the eternality of things.  We have a hard time with thinking of deserving hell for eternity.  Now I can't dive off into that right now, but try this out for a different angle.  Can you imagine feeling at home in a place of utter beauty and holiness where Jesus lives with His Father and the Holy Spirit, if it were not for the cross.  Honestly, I feel like Peter felt when he saw how awesome and holy Jesus was.  He said, "Go away from me Lord.  I am a sinful man."  If I'm dead honest, the eternality of things doesn't settle well for me all the time, but feeling comfortable in heaven with my sin is absolutely unthinkable.  I can't imagine it.  One thing I am certain of is that I don't deserve real Beauty.  I am not fit for a place like heaven, and I feel deep within my heart that I will go on forever somewhere.  So my only hope is that Jesus took my place of darkness and ugliness.  Without that, any hope of going to heaven when I leave this earth is gone.  I am certain.  Jesus is the only way.

Ryan 

Temples 'In Wait'

You know if I'm honest I have a hard time loving everyone I meet, but I shouldn't.  In fact, sometimes I have a hard time loving those that are the closest to me.  When I am unloving it is a sure sign of the fact that I have lost sight of God's love for me.  It is still there, but just not within my awareness like it ought to be.  Sometimes I feel especially aware of how blessed I really am and usually at the same time how much I don't deserve it.  This is one of those times.  This is not being over humble.  We sometimes think that people who think that they don't deserve anything good are being false humble; I pray I'm not.  I'm just aware that the love I've been given wasn't deserved or earned.  When God awakens my senses to where they ought to be is when I feel like this.  This state of being is not depressing though, and that may sound very weird.  I feel the most free to love when I don't go around thinking of my deserving love back.  When I realize that I am loved by this Awesome Creator who made all things and knows all things about me then I am free to really love people around me.  This is the state I think Jesus describes when He tells us that if someone sues us and takes our tunic (like a jacket) to give him our cloak (like a shirt) as well, or when He tells us to not turn away someone who borrows from us.  He also tells us to have dinners and make sure to invite folks that you know can not pay you back.  Some how for so long I have reshaped these verses to fit the my own American view.  I have quoted this many times almost as if it is a Bible verse.  'Give a man a fish you feed him for a day, teach him to fish you feed him the rest of his life.'  Well that has some wisdom in it, but it should not reshape the plain meaning of the verses I just quoted.  Well this is not the direction I planned on going with this post.  

The original idea I wanted to type about was the fact that every person that I come in contact with is either a temple of God or a temple 'in wait of God'.  Christians are the temples that God dwells in on earth, but people living today that are not yet Christians are just as valuable temples as those already occupied by God today.  The difference is not in the temple, but in the God who dwells in them.  Something very serious for me to think about is the fact that I have two beautiful little temples 'in wait' looking at their father and mother to show them in the next few years Who it is who made them and is waiting to move in and live with them.   I pray that God would help me and all of us see where our value comes from, and that it is not from within ourselves, but from the one who created us.  I think that if I really was aware of that all the time I would love people in ways that would make them want the source of my love.  It is becoming clearer and clearer to me that I can not escape this command to love others as myself and that this type of love goes hand in hand with loving the Lord my God with all my strength, soul, and mind.  I am always a little timid at typing stuff like this, because it puts the bulls eye on me.  One way I am always attacked when I sin is by being reminded of what I have said or typed or written to others and fail to do myself.  Nevertheless, the truth is the truth.  My standing does not make it stand.  It stands apart from me and without me.  

At any rate, it is the most exciting thing in the world to think about loving people with Jesus type love.  I hope my actions will begin to express my ideals more and more.

God bless yall,

Ryan